My apt went fine. She told me that I looked good and that she would see me in 3months. She talked to me about the "what now" My chances of it coming back is 30-50%. I think I flooded the room. While I am trying to listen and make note I could hardly see her with the tears streaming. It is so hard to hear that. I have come so far but then I think it has only been a year. I have such a long road ahead. So yesterday and the first half of today I hid in my room and slept. I woke up to a text from a friend. He said he was going through a lot and felt selfish that it was bothering him when my issues were heavier. I guess we all need to stop when we are feeling down and be thankful because some has it worse. So I picked my depressed tail up and headed for the gym. I kept thinking that she did not tell me that it was back or that I was dying right now. Thanks for the words J. Sometimes it just takes me a bit to get it together. The other issue I have to work on is the one thing my Dr said that I can control. Healthy living- eating and exercise. She wants me to get into shape and lose the weight. Cancer loves fat:( So I need to maybe try to start something or join another blog so I can be held accountable. So much for now. Thanks for reading and caring!
Cindy
fighting like a girl
6 comments:
whenever the doctors talk the numbers it sounds horrible...i'm a 10-year colon cancer survivor...you and I can be thankful for EVERY day. My reality hit me when a younger cousin came down with the same diagnosis and his prognosis is MUCH worse than mine. He's gone through his treatments and is back at work...his fiancee was killed in a car accident the day after his second diagnosis...so NO one knows about tomorrow, even if you DON"T have cancer.
You go, girl, enjoy your family...you're gonna be around for a LONG time :)
Oh friend...I am praying that you will hear Gods voice so much louder than that of the enemy. For the enemies goal is to make you depressed, doubtful and fearful. The enemy wants to keep you from seeing the victory you have in Jesus! Girl, you are loved and prayed over a ton!
I know I don't get around here to your blog as often as I would like but please know that I lift you up to Jesus all the time. Praying today that He will give you peace within your spirit. Remember, doctors are just people who speak based on statistics...God is not a recorder of statistics...He is the Great Physician and Healer of all things...I am believing for complete, total health and many, many years of JOY!!!!!!!
I'll be saying prayers for you as well, I'm sure its hard to not get down after hearing news like that but just know the Lord is with you! I'll be lifting you up to him this week!!
Life is such a journey and we never know from one day to the next(i guess it's a good thing) what we will endure. I know that God has brought me from wanting to just lay down and die to this day. He has been with me and others each step of the way and he does understand our emotions. His desire is to keep you well and watch your beautiful girls grow up and to grow old with your wonderful husband. Keep the FAITH and let God take care of you and your beautiful family. I love you and all your family. Prayers going up every day. Love, Yvonne
Keep your head held high. Focus on the fact that with the statistics she gave you, it's still 70-50% likely it WON'T come back. I will continue to pray for you, and try to work on the things that you can do, like eating well, staying healthy, and enjoying your family!
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