Friday, August 29, 2008


One night I had a dream--I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints, one belonged to me and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before me,I looked back at the footprints in the sand.I noticed that many times along the path of my life,there was only one set of footprints.I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life. This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,you would walk with me all the way,but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. "I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,you should leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. "When you saw only one set of footprints,it was then that I carried you."...Mary Stevenson

Results: Breast Cancer 111
I had a lot of tests yesterday. It was a long and tiring day. Too much info passing over my head. I was looking through a fog and not sure where I was going? I saw the breast doctor and the oncologist. Both concerned and wanted to aggressively care for me as the cancer is aggressive. Scared and waiting for more tests hoping that it has not traveled anywhere else? God please I am begging for answers.

Next week the beginning of the journey: Chemo begins then later surgery and then radiation.

Scared....Telling my girls, losing my hair and just staying away for the outside germs for awhile. I am very heavy with preparing myself to hand over my responsibilities to my family. I am aching inside.

I will try to update as much as I can. Email or call anytime. Encourage the girls. Pray, pray, pray.

I want to fight for my life. I am going to FIGHT FOR MY LIFE!


Wednesday, August 27, 2008


I had a MRI on Monday. That was interesting. When they slide you in it closes in on you. So for 45 minutes with an IV in my arm I laid on my stomach. Hot? Yes Hard to stay still? Yes. As soon as I was done I called my Dr and I could not believe that she already had my results. Mike and I pulled over on the side of the road to hear. The doctor said that is saw a small 4mm nodule. She wanted to see me T or W to biopsy it. The thought of that made me sick. I just had this on the 12th.

Yesterday morning she (dr) called to biopsy me. It took about an hour for everything. They found 2 places to biopsy and send off to the pathologist. My results are suppose to be ready on Thurs.

So many questions I have. Not sure what to think??Do I just have breast cancer? Why is it in my lump node? Is there more to come? It is not in my family? Why do I have it? I am 38 why now? Scared and Confused! I need answers! Tomorrow is a big day for me. I am hoping to see the oncologist also. What is in my future I don't know?

Thanks for all your prayers-I am use to praying for and helping everyone and now being on the other side has some taking use to.

Leaning on God to give these doctors the knowledge to allow me to take care of my girls while they are so young. Please remember the girls do not know. Thanks


Thursday, August 21, 2008

I Dont like this post...

I can barely type this post. I know all of you have been calling and checking on me and waiting as I have. It was not what I was expecting to hear. The doctor called yesterday and asked me if it was a good time to talk?

I knew! My biopsy came back as malignant. I don't have a lot of info at this time. I will be having a lot of test run to find out if it is just breast cancer or is it coming from somewhere else. So for now I am extremely scared and confused. AS a mother I have chose not to tell the girls. Please respect that decision and be careful who is told and for tiny ears listening. Thank you.

My next appt is Monday. Pray for me as I fight for my health.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


Ok so I am still waiting on my results! I feel like this is forever. Until this is out of the way I am going to try to get back to normal. I have been waiting around for a week now. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

I need to lift up two families:
Hope-5yrs had surgery and is having some issues
Yvonne-father passed from cancer

This week I am get ready for my first yr of homeschooling. We start on Monday. Any last minute advice send it on.

Wishing on a star:)

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


off to the Dr after my ultrasound and mammogram last week. I am having a biopsy done this morning and I am getting super nervous. Wish me luck and say a little prayer!

Tot trade over.....made 350.00 Yes!!!!

See ya soon

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


Just a quick update:

Alexa will be 12 very soon. She had her summer cheerleading camp. She had a blast but super sore! She is being published in a poetry book at the beginning of the year. She is ready to go back to school. I walked in yesterday and she was packing her backpack. Weird how they cant wait to get out but are ready to go back. Cant complain!!!

Savannah learned how to sail over the summer. It was really fun to hear and watch her teach me. She will be 10 in Dec. She still loves playing babies all the time. If you have baby clothes send them to her. She cant get enough. She enjoys being outside on the trampoline and riding her motor scooter. She will be home with me this school year. Getting excited.

Madison will be 8 in Nov. She enjoys two little babies in her life. Nicholas and Brayden are the center of her life right now. She loves babies more than anyone I know. She is going to be a great babysitter. She loves art and reading. She will also be home with me this year.

My three Army brats!!!!!!!!!!!