Day 2

Today has been slow. I have been up a little here and there. I have been taken all pre-meds on time so I can kick the spinning that I feel often. Feeling like you are on a boat all the time. My mom and Mike have been taking very good care of me. I sure do not want her to go home tomorrow.

I pray for another day like today tomorrow. Thanks so much for your powerful prayers! I do feel it all around. The girls are fine.

Thanks Midi, Carrie, Mike, Stephanie,Michael and Keri for dropping everything and cleaning and sanitizing my house. Helping with the organizing so it will be easier for Mike to keep up with.

I am thankful for today!
Thanks to all my blog friends that are walking this journey with me. God is good!!!

Cindy

Day 1

I am home now. Today was extremely scary. I was shaking all the way to the cancer center. My Mom and Mike kept me positive and promised me that they would not leave me. I had my labs done first and then an IV started. It is a weird feeling when think you are about to receive toxic drugs through your veins. Of course no one was my age or even close. I was the only newbie there too. The nurses were all nice and walk me through everything slowly. I loved the pharmacist. He spent a lot of time helping me understand every medicine that they were giving me and everything that I will be taking at home. He told me what to expect. I was there for about 4 1/2 hours. I will be losing my hair in about 2 weeks. I love my hair but it is in the plan. It was an ok experience. Better than I thought.

How am I feeling?? I feel very heavy, I feel seasick and nervous. I am keeping myself full of meds so that I can try not to be too sick. It is a strange feeling. I try to tell myself that I am fighting against something that is so nasty and it wants to fight back and I just cant let it. I continue to look at my wrist. I will update you tomorrow if I am feeling ok.

I felt your love and knew you were praying. I am through with the 1st treatment. I have 5 more to go. Pray for peace in this happy body. Pray that in coming days I can tolerate this. If not they will back off.

God thank you for blessing me with my blog and the beautiful people that are pulling me through! I truly love you all.

The girls are great! Mike was wonderful and mom was well my mom. You are never too old to need your mom(glad my is a RN)

Love to all
Cindy

Pray for healing:)

Chemo tomorrow

Quick update-sorry I did not yesterday. I went to the new doctor and she decided to start my treatments tomorrow. I will have 6 cycles, every 3 weeks. Not sure what to expect. I am getting TAC. They are treating me heavily. Each time I come back they will check to see if it shrinking. The goal is to get rid and be cancer free.

I am not sure how I will feel. So I will update and have my husband also check for me. The comments are wonderful and I thank you for your support.

My husband opened a PO Box for me so that I can get out to do something simple. Feel free to send the girls a card if you want. Also for those of you that want to get a bracelet that my daughter is making ,you can send her a request and donations only. she can continue to keep up with them. She is extremely excited. She is putting hope, believe or faith on them.

Pray that this saves my life. As I am at the cancer center (1030-230)think of me. I do believe that the warriors are out there and watching out for me and I thank you for that.

Sending love of pink everywhere
Cindy Summers
POBOX 20583
Greenville, NC 27858

Tomorrow-Say a prayer for me

I think all of my test are done and results are in. I will be seeing a new oncologist. My insurance company is not going to pay for the oncologist that I was seeing. So I will be seeing the new one tomorrow. Hopefully I will feel a connection with her. Of course I am extremely scared. I am praying that there is no bad news.

I have been working hard on my diet and exercising as much as I can. I am trying to keep busy as I wait. I cant explain the thoughts that run through my mind. I look around and notice so much more. I truly want to live. I want to see my girls grow up. It is such an uncertain feeling sometimes. I try hard to trust and believe. I look at my wrist. I think about what my daughter keeps telling me.

Lord give me strength

Thanks again for everything
Nicki-thanks for the email

Talking to the Girls

Well one of the things I was dreading was talking to the girls. I decided to tell them separately. I started with Alexa. I knew I did not want to start the conversation with I have CANCER and scare her. So I tried to talk to her about some bad cells living inside my body that are not healthy. She immediately said "mom do yo have cancer" I froze for a moment and thought kids are so smart. I replied yes baby. She look scared but told me that I was going to be fine. I just needed to BELIEVE. She was amazing. She started saying I will do anything. I will ride the bus, I will help you do whatever. My husband was crying so hard I had to ask him to relax. Alexa began to make bracelets for all my family and neighbors. They are pink beads with the words believe, hope or faith on them. She wants everyone to wear them and save my life. I could not believe that in a days time she had made them and was knocking on doors and putting them on. It has kept her busy. She wants to start her own little business with these bracelets to support breast cancer. She is a positive little go getter! 2 days later I told Savannah (9). She did not understand the cell story. She just wanted to know if I was going to be alright. She said she would not bring germs into the house and she would be good and help. That was a much easier talk. I loved that she is still too young to understand and carry any stress right now. 2 days later I told Madison(7). She was worried and of course did not understand but could feel my concern. The girls will ask questions here and there. Madison came up to me yesterday and said "Daddy pinky sweared me that you were going to be ok" It took my breath away.

Next appt on Wed-taking forever to start. I have been trying to detox my body. I am suppose to be drinking penta water. It is very expensive and I have to drink a lot of it. Any advice on food. I am following a vegan diet right now. It gets boring thou.

Thanks for all you support/ Keeping praying for me. Pray for some answers on wed. Pray that the chemo works and pray that it stays away from my organs and bones.

Love Cindy

God please heal me

Results are in-The Power of Praying

Prayer Warriors are working hard! My bone scan came up clear. Another day behind me. The next step is to get the results of the protein so they can decide what chemo to give me. So many decisions to make.

My prayer request to give the Dr the knowledge to treat me or go through with the surgery. Now that I know it is no where else I want it out now. I understand they want to give chemo first so they can watch the cancer shrink. If they take out the breast before they aren't for sure that they are giving me the right meds. God please give me the patience. I am anxious to get this started.

I am still so scared and nights are the worst. I beg God to pull me through. Thanks again for every ones support and praying each and everyday!

With love
One day at a time
Cindy

Calling all Prayer Warriors!

Pray hard for me tomorrow! I am having my bone scan tomorrow. I can feel you surrounding me....I know you are praying for me....My CT scan results showed no cancer in my organs. It did show multiple lymph nodes in the breast where the primary cancer is.

A few more test and I will be ready to move forward. As I look down at my wrist and I see the word BELIEVE I have peace. I look above my bed where my husband hung pale pink letter that say HOPE I feel loved.

What is my plan? Where are you sending me? I am overwhelmed.

Pray for my family, pray for the doctors to have the knowledge, pray for my body to heal.

Thank you
Cindy

FOOTPRINTS....

Footprints
One night I had a dream--I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints, one belonged to me and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before me,I looked back at the footprints in the sand.I noticed that many times along the path of my life,there was only one set of footprints.I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life. This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,you would walk with me all the way,but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. "I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,you should leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. "When you saw only one set of footprints,it was then that I carried you."...Mary Stevenson


Results: Breast Cancer 111
I had a lot of tests yesterday. It was a long and tiring day. Too much info passing over my head. I was looking through a fog and not sure where I was going? I saw the breast doctor and the oncologist. Both concerned and wanted to aggressively care for me as the cancer is aggressive. Scared and waiting for more tests hoping that it has not traveled anywhere else? God please I am begging for answers.

Next week the beginning of the journey: Chemo begins then later surgery and then radiation.

Scared....Telling my girls, losing my hair and just staying away for the outside germs for awhile. I am very heavy with preparing myself to hand over my responsibilities to my family. I am aching inside.

I will try to update as much as I can. Email or call anytime. Encourage the girls. Pray, pray, pray.

I want to fight for my life. I am going to FIGHT FOR MY LIFE!

Cindy
micialsa@aol.com

Monday

I had a MRI on Monday. That was interesting. When they slide you in it closes in on you. So for 45 minutes with an IV in my arm I laid on my stomach. Hot? Yes Hard to stay still? Yes. As soon as I was done I called my Dr and I could not believe that she already had my results. Mike and I pulled over on the side of the road to hear. The doctor said that is saw a small 4mm nodule. She wanted to see me T or W to biopsy it. The thought of that made me sick. I just had this on the 12th.

Yesterday morning she (dr) called to biopsy me. It took about an hour for everything. They found 2 places to biopsy and send off to the pathologist. My results are suppose to be ready on Thurs.

So many questions I have. Not sure what to think??Do I just have breast cancer? Why is it in my lump node? Is there more to come? It is not in my family? Why do I have it? I am 38 why now? Scared and Confused! I need answers! Tomorrow is a big day for me. I am hoping to see the oncologist also. What is in my future I don't know?

Thanks for all your prayers-I am use to praying for and helping everyone and now being on the other side has some taking use to.

Leaning on God to give these doctors the knowledge to allow me to take care of my girls while they are so young. Please remember the girls do not know. Thanks

Cindy

I Dont like this post...

I can barely type this post. I know all of you have been calling and checking on me and waiting as I have. It was not what I was expecting to hear. The doctor called yesterday and asked me if it was a good time to talk?

I knew! My biopsy came back as malignant. I don't have a lot of info at this time. I will be having a lot of test run to find out if it is just breast cancer or is it coming from somewhere else. So for now I am extremely scared and confused. AS a mother I have chose not to tell the girls. Please respect that decision and be careful who is told and for tiny ears listening. Thank you.

My next appt is Monday. Pray for me as I fight for my health.

FOREVER

Ok so I am still waiting on my results! I feel like this is forever. Until this is out of the way I am going to try to get back to normal. I have been waiting around for a week now. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

I need to lift up two families:
Hope-5yrs had surgery and is having some issues
Yvonne-father passed from cancer


This week I am get ready for my first yr of homeschooling. We start on Monday. Any last minute advice send it on.

Wishing on a star:)
Cindy

Scared

off to the Dr after my ultrasound and mammogram last week. I am having a biopsy done this morning and I am getting super nervous. Wish me luck and say a little prayer!


Tot trade over.....made 350.00 Yes!!!!


See ya soon

Girls

Just a quick update:

Alexa will be 12 very soon. She had her summer cheerleading camp. She had a blast but super sore! She is being published in a poetry book at the beginning of the year. She is ready to go back to school. I walked in yesterday and she was packing her backpack. Weird how they cant wait to get out but are ready to go back. Cant complain!!!

Savannah learned how to sail over the summer. It was really fun to hear and watch her teach me. She will be 10 in Dec. She still loves playing babies all the time. If you have baby clothes send them to her. She cant get enough. She enjoys being outside on the trampoline and riding her motor scooter. She will be home with me this school year. Getting excited.

Madison will be 8 in Nov. She enjoys two little babies in her life. Nicholas and Brayden are the center of her life right now. She loves babies more than anyone I know. She is going to be a great babysitter. She loves art and reading. She will also be home with me this year.

My three Army brats!!!!!!!!!!!

Tot Trade/craiglist

I have been so busy moving stuff out. I have spend the last week pulling stuff from the attic garage boxes and everywhere. I am pricing things for Tot Trade in Charlotte. I also have been putting stuff on craigslist. It is a lot of work but kinda fun. I did not realize how many Halloween costumes that I had. I guess I never got rid of any. Three girls equals a lot of stuff. The only thing that is getting in my way is: Oh, ooooh, I love that, I need that, mommmmmmmy....All the sudden my girls want to hang on me and lean over my shoulder. Funny they have not worn or played with this stuff in forever. Saying bye to the barbie jeep yesterday (had since 5yrago) was sad. Oh well they are better today. They are just trying on costumes. Wish me luck!!

Important Post: A prayer chain request. My girls have found a star and it is called HOPE. I would like everyone to look up at night and prayer for a little girl who is going to need surgery(kidney). Her mom is a very good friend and they need your prayers. So don't forget to look for the biggest/shiniest star and make a wish for her. She will be listening. Thanks

Update on the girls tomorrow
Love and happiness
Cindy

Be Fine

Has anyone tried food skin care??? Well I found this and I love it. It goes from using coconut, pomegranate,brown sugar, cocoa and sweet almond. Of course they have much more. I have tried 5 of their products.

Gentle cleanser
night cream
exfoliating
warming clay mask
moisturizer

Love it...if you want to pamper yourself check it out. Let me know

Off to Be Fine:)


Tip:triple coupons at HT (few days)

Part 2

I decided to leave the second part private do to viewers who may be sensitive to the issues. She knows how good she has been to me and I am thankful for her friendship!

Happy Sunday

Enjoy fellowship and worship :)

Alexa, Savannah and Madison

My Angel

You all know that I have been struggling with what to do with the girls and homeschooling. Well I have a friend that I have known her for a long tme. She has always been there for me when I needed her.

Looking for freebies

Friday has become the day in blogland where everyone post freebies. I have been learning for a month now. Here is list of places I am working on. If you have any info let me know.
CVS
Walgreens
Rite Aid
Target
Walmart
Kroger
Homeschool stuff
School supplies

My mailbox is fun to check now. I have been trying a lot of new products that are being sent to me. Hope the info I am finding is helpful.

Starting something new every Friday(saw it on TV) Cash in the Attic! So off I go to see what treasures I have:)I will post next Fri.....

PS-Brag Corner-Alexa is being published in a poetry book this fall!!! (she was published in 2nd grade too)


Happy Weekend

Praying for a friend

I have a friend who has been there for me during a sad time. I lost 3 family members in a short time. They were 3 important men in my life (and the girls). My friend carried on for one of them. She has filled a big void in the girls life after my cousin died. I want to be there for her. Please pray for her as she takes on her fathers illness. He is having surgery today. I am not sure what the outcome will be or when I will hear from her but raise her up. She has suffered way too much the last few yrs as well. God hold her during her pain and keep her strong.

Yvonne you are in our thoughts and prayers.