Monday, September 8, 2008

Talking to the Girls

Well one of the things I was dreading was talking to the girls. I decided to tell them separately. I started with Alexa. I knew I did not want to start the conversation with I have CANCER and scare her. So I tried to talk to her about some bad cells living inside my body that are not healthy. She immediately said "mom do yo have cancer" I froze for a moment and thought kids are so smart. I replied yes baby. She look scared but told me that I was going to be fine. I just needed to BELIEVE. She was amazing. She started saying I will do anything. I will ride the bus, I will help you do whatever. My husband was crying so hard I had to ask him to relax. Alexa began to make bracelets for all my family and neighbors. They are pink beads with the words believe, hope or faith on them. She wants everyone to wear them and save my life. I could not believe that in a days time she had made them and was knocking on doors and putting them on. It has kept her busy. She wants to start her own little business with these bracelets to support breast cancer. She is a positive little go getter! 2 days later I told Savannah (9). She did not understand the cell story. She just wanted to know if I was going to be alright. She said she would not bring germs into the house and she would be good and help. That was a much easier talk. I loved that she is still too young to understand and carry any stress right now. 2 days later I told Madison(7). She was worried and of course did not understand but could feel my concern. The girls will ask questions here and there. Madison came up to me yesterday and said "Daddy pinky sweared me that you were going to be ok" It took my breath away.

Next appt on Wed-taking forever to start. I have been trying to detox my body. I am suppose to be drinking penta water. It is very expensive and I have to drink a lot of it. Any advice on food. I am following a vegan diet right now. It gets boring thou.

Thanks for all you support/ Keeping praying for me. Pray for some answers on wed. Pray that the chemo works and pray that it stays away from my organs and bones.

Love Cindy

God please heal me


Anonymous said...

How amazing is Our God he listens to our hearts and helps us see so many blessing even in times when our eyes are so bleary with tears. I've been praying your girls, would be strong. What a testimony Alexa is to your great mothering skills. Smile today knowing you have installed in your girls a heart like Jesus.God bless you today, give you his peace and nudge you to crawl up into his lap, so his great big arms can smother you with his love.
Love, Hugs and most of all Prayers

ThreeGirlyGirls said...

Oh girly, your girls are awesome!! I can totally see them just the way you described them. They are so sweet and caring. I'm glad that part is over. Alexa is so neat! I love her idea and tell her I'd like to buy one from her!

Continuing to pray daily, and every time the Lord lays you on my heart. I love you!

On Purpose said...

May you see Jesus all around you! May you feel blessed that He is in the hearts of your girls and offering up such sweet words through them. Cindy your girls are beautiful, inside and out.

Tracy at Our Journey said...

Congratulations on telling the girls...I know it wasn't easy. My parents just did the same thing with us this past weekend....about my father.
He just recently started juicing. The health food lady where they are from recommends straight organic carrot juice, juiced at home. She says that juice is the quickest way to get the vitamins into your body. He has stopped all sugars, caffienes, and things like that. He eats salads, fruit, drinks water and whatever he juices. Their friend says that if the ph levels in your body are what they should be, cancer cannot live...If you would like to call her and talk to her-google the Golden Carrot in Paducah KY and ask for Delores. She will talk to you about it. I am praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Aww-- what sweet girls ya have there.

Hugs and prayers coming your way.

Cindy said...

First, I want to buy a bracelet, seriously!
What strong girls God has given to your family. I am praying for all of you.
Blessings, Cindy

Nicole said...

Hi Cindy! I feel for you and your family. My mom had breast cancer when I was younger. She was 26 and I was 6, and then she had a recurrence later also. She is alive and God has brought her through. I feel that I can relate to your girls, eventhough I am now 26. I pray that they will be able to ask you any questions they have and that you can have open communication so that they can best understand what is going on with mommy. I will be praying for them, and for continued strength for you...emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In His Love,

MiMi said...

Let me first of all say that your girls are beautiful! I know that it must have been very difficult for you to have to have a conversation with them about cancer. Their responses were absolutely precious! What tender hearts they have.

I know that these are very difficult times for you and your family, but I am confident that God will bring you through. You have been on my heart for several days and even though I don't actually know you, my heart grieves because one of my "sisters" is hurting.

I will definitely be praying that the chemo will work and that God will protect your organs and bones.

Praying for you!

Cara Young Fuhr said...

Hello, I am a friend of Michaels. I have know him since 1998 - so I guess that makes it ten years. I dated his friend Luke. He told me about your cancer, and I wanted to extend myself to you if you ever need anyone to talk to. Why me? Well, I happen to have my mother who just finshed treatment for her lymphoma for the 5th time - this time in her father has lyphoma, had prostate grandmother, who was truly my best friend died three years ago of cancer, and my cousin, who was like a sister died two years ago 5 weeks before my wedding. Iknow from her perspective about children..she has a 7 year old and a 12 year old. Her father passed away when she was 7 - so she knew exactly how much Libby was going to understand and forget.
I say this, because I have had my plethera of experience...I have found that talking to people, especially people who understand, is critical to know that you are not alone. I also know, that turning and putting faith in God, prayer, belief, which ever one works for you. I am a woman of faith, so I find asking everyone I know to pray sends out a blanket of hope.
Recently, I have had a close friend who has been battling a brain tumor for 3 years. She has a young son also. Not once, have I ever heard her be anything but optimistic. She looked for her little "God moment" to sustain her. At her hardest point, she couldn't walk, had horrible headaches, couldn't talk..and the list goes on...I just heard from her a couple of days ago, and she is walking, no more headaches, the doctors have reduced her steroids to half - so hopefully moving she can lose the eighty pounds she gained. She is truly a beacon of hope. Last year we did a week in Aspen as a girls trip...we all thought that it might be her last...well, she is more excited than ever for this annual event.
I don't know if Michael mentioned it, but a friend of mine who had breast cancer at 22 asked me to do the Komen 3 day 60 mile walk through NYC. I agreed, then about 3 weeks before we were supposed to leave, she call me over to her house and told me that it was back. All of her friends who were supposed to being going to NYC backed out also, SO I went alone. It was the most emotional journey of my life - sharing and meeting people of such strength. I had her on the cell phone as I crossed the finish line, cyring for joy! I thought if she could go through treatment, then the completely raw, ripped off skin of my feet, were no big deal! I am hoping to do another one soon. I too, had many steroids last year for back and foot problems and had my breasts go from a D to a G..So in 4 weeks, I am having a reductiion!!!! YEAH, I can't wait. My girlfriend who had the breast cancer said that the double masectomy was the greatest - she went in really small and came out with healthy average implants!
So, I guess in closing, I haven't personally been through what you are going through, but I can say that without a doubt, I understand and empathise. I am here if you need me - anytime for anything. I am hoping that I can be there for Michael too...It is at the hardest times of our life that we find strength in people we might never have imagined! All my love and support! Cara