Day 8-Counts low:(

Girls just left to enjoy the festivities. Hope everyone enjoys the Fall tonight and this weekend. Went to the Dr today and my white counts are low and I have been feeling pretty bad today. My results for infection did not come yet but they went ahead and put me on antibiotics. It seems my body drops low and I get mild affects from it so I can live with that.

I have to say this go around was harder but I am hoping and believing that I am going to bounce back soon. I feel like I have sounded a little weak but it has been a frustrating time since Friday. It is time for me to rest this weekend and listen to my body. Monday I need to get refocused and spend a lot of time with God. I need to get back into conquer mode. Don't get me wrong I am fighting with all that I have. This is some powerful stuff I am carrying around but I know that there is my powerful Father carrying me when I cant another step. I know that He has plans for me. I know that He sent each of you to remind me that I can do this. I can do this and I will. I just need shake this off and focus. I know I may wonder why but that is when I am weak it is hard not to.

Thanks for being God's helpers. For praying when my praying is so weak. Continue to pray I want to live and give God the Glory!

Shooting for Victory!
Cindy

Thanks for my cards Tom, Cindy, Carrie thanks for making me my hats!

Day 7 white counts checked

Not feeling well right now. I feel like my counts are low. I will be getting my labs done in the morning. May have an infection. The Dr is going to check on me tomorrow. Just tired and praying for better days to come.

Thank you for reminding me and praying for me. I hope everyone is well and that I pray for all of you for I am blessed to have you!

Lord continue to protect me I am listening and following.

Fighting like a Girl!
Cindy

Day 6-struggling

I miss everyone! Chemo # 3 kicked my bottom! I almost do not remember the last several days. I have felt so poisoned. I felt like I was dying. It was powerful this time. I felt like I was underwater and I could not stay above. I remember thinking I can not possibly do this again.

Today I am slowly feeling better. Thanks for the heavy praying. I still have 3 more to go. Pray for strength. Pray for healing. Pray for my girls to Believe as they see Mommy struggle. I know the bracelets are going out this week. I can not wait to hear where!

Lots of thanks to my cards Ivan,Ken, Nichole, Sharon(Alexa says thanks too),Molly(they love their wendys gc)Crystal-Sherry thanks for taking the girls to the beach. They had a fab time!Conya thanks for taking the girls to the play, Jessica thanks for taking the girls to the movies. I am so thankful.

Mom thanks so much for coming and helping with my treatments. I know it is hard to see me like this. You are showing me you never stop being a mom to your babies! I love you for that.

John and Monia thanks for being here for the next 3 weeks or so. It is a big chore and I love you both.

With Madison birthday, Thanksgiving, Savannah birthday and Christmas I am saying a special prayer that I will be strong for the girls. Lord give me the strength to enjoy the girls. I have missed playing with them and having our time together.

I love you all and holding on and fighting hard! Sorry that I have been away.
Cindy

It's Mike here!

My Uncle just emailed me and asked how Cindy was feeling. He said that she has not updated since Friday the 24th. If one person is wondering, most likely a handful of you are wondering. I'm sure she will try to update you guys today but just in case, here we go..... Cindy has been extremely tired this go round. She's been spending most of her days since Friday resting. She is OK, just tired. Don't worry, She is being looked after between myself, the girls and My dad and Monia are in town. I know shes ready to feel better so she can get out more and do more. Shes not much for just laying around. But anyways, I wont steel her thunder. I will help her tonight if need be typing her thoughts so you are kept in the loop!
THANKS AGAIN FOR BEING THERE FOR HER!!!!!

Day 1- Praising God...Shrinking

I am back thank you so much for praying hard. I am so tired and feeling kinda icky. That is the drill thou.

The words that I long to hear every time I see my Dr: it is working...and I say how do you know...she says I seems to be 1cm and it was 2.4cm...I said what about a scan....she said we dont need one I can tell...she said after 3treatments it is working. Thank you Lord!

Dont lift the praises up throw them up and jump with me! I love you all. Well I am back to the beginning. Pray for a restful weekend. I am signing out tonight. I am so exhausted but so happy.

Love to all- Onie and Michele the girls say thank you! Yvonne and Nichole thanks for the cards!
Love and ThanksCindy

Cindy Happy 50th Birthday!

Day 21- Last day Calling all prayer warriors wearing pink

LOLA LOVING ALL THE BRACELETS BEFORE THEY ARE MAILED! THIS IS MY PRAYER CANDLE THAT I WILL LIGHT TONIGHT AND TOMORROW BEFORE CHEMO. THANKS PAT (MIKE'S MOM)

ALWAYS WEARING MY BRACELET THAT ALEXA MADE ME. IT KEEPS ME GOING. THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING.

It is that time. Pray hard. Thank God for getting me this far. Pray for my body to be strong. As the toxic medicine enters my body please protect me. Heal me so I can continue to Praise and give you the Glory.

I feel wonderful today! Lord thank you for bringing me all of your children. I depend so much on them. To all my prayer warriors lets stand together and show this world how great it is to BELIEVE!

I LOVE YOU ALL

Cindy

Check out Ginny's blog over at http://thepatterson5.blogspot.com

Thanks girlfriend!

Day 20-

Almost done this time. I start taking medicine tomorrow. It is so nice when I am not taking something. So I am going to spend the day getting ready. Running errands, cleaning, getting meds ready and just do everything that I can't do when I am tired and not feeling well.

Savannah and Madison went to the beach with my sister-in-law for a night or two. I am so happy for them. They called me for the hotel a little bit ago and they sounded so happy. I can't wait to hear about their trip.

As I am getting ready for Friday pray for me to be calm. Pray for me to tolerate the medicine again. Pray that I can handle the red medicine that scares me so much. Pray for Victory! Gather around me as Friday comes. Thank you for being there for me. Love to all and thank you Lord for another awesome day! I love all of you. Mom can not wait until you get here tomorrow. Thanks for taking off work again:)

Cindy

Ps I love being able to taste food!!!

Day 19- Trying to stay focused

I had a wonderful day today! It was nice to feel good all day. I am trying to stay focused on being positive not worried (which is hard). Trying to get ready to handle the chemo again. I just want to be OK more than anything. I pray so hard sometimes. Lord I want to be healed over and over again. I want to continue to live my life.

I want everyone out there to take a moment to Praise Him for not giving more than I can handle! I also want you to pray for me to continue to be OK and enjoy my family. I want you to pray for a miracle. I want to be able to talk about this after the fact more than anything. I am on my knees Praising Him!

I am choosing to Believe!

My am praying and praising God for all of you. Thanking for coming into my life when I need you all the most. Thank thank thank...

Love Cindy

Day 18- Enjoying the days

I am just trying to enjoy my days before chemo! It is nice to have my taste back. Praise-food can be so good. Feeling good send the Praise up:) I did not have to take that much medicine this time-Praise. I want to focus on sending the Praises up because it is amazing how well I have felt. I truly believe that God has been good to me. I normally get sick pretty easy and I have been well. Please continue to pray for me. I am not sure how I will be each time but I know that I will continue to lean on you all. Thank you for your commitment to walking with me. Each of you have blessed me more than you know. Prayer letters, cards, fun and thoughtful gifts, praying and wearing bracelets! Thank you for being my friend.

Thanks to all of you that have me on your blog and having the world praying for me. Check out my girlfriends blog. I just saw it today and it made my day. Emily thanks for the socks. I love that you bought us matching socks. Your a wonderful friend. http://thetallmanfamily.blogspot.com

Nichole bracelets are being mailed tomorrow. Alexa is excited about her bracelets saving my life. I cant wait to hear who gets them. Love your commitment to my family!

To another beautiful day
Cindy

Day 17- Comparing

I decided to look back at day 17 last go around. I feel good. I love the last week. It is so nice to feel normal. The title was "Feeling Blue but not Feeling Sick" I wonder why but I start letting fear get to me. I have been praying that I continue to "BELIEVE". The bracelet Alexa made me is on my wrist all the time. I look at it all the time. I guess it is normal to ask why, how, when and where? Sometimes it is so overwhelming that I fall to my knees with sadness. I do believe there is a reason for everything. I am thankful for all my blessing and I am praying to be guided. I pray that God will point me in the right direction. I would like to pray for everyone who does not have the Lord in their heart. If you are not sure where to go or what to do just pray for Him to enter your heart and be complete. If there is one thing I know for sure is when times get tuff and I feel like I can not walk another step I just allow God to carry me. I am constantly reminded that He is in control. I have a country full of beautiful people praying for me and serving the Lord. Thank you for being there when I need you. I have become inspired and encouraged more than you even know. Wishing you many blessing.

Cindy

Day 16- Fun

I had a really nice day. I felt good. I enjoyed my sister and Sabrina's visit. It was nice to feel normal today. We sat around together making bracelets. It was fun and I enjoyed the company.

I am looking forward to tomorrow. I need these days. Lord continue to give me strength. I am asking for strong praying for my visit on Friday. I am going to be asking what they think about my lymph nodes. I am praying they tell me the chemo is working. I am afraid and I want this to work. So please pray for me to be healed. So far I have done so well. I would love to hear great news this Friday. So pray hard that my body is getting better.

I am feeling a little anxiety so I am going to try to relax and enjoy my week. Love to you all. Thanks for your support. I am counting on all of you. I need your encouragement.

Goodnight
Cindy

Day 15-WBC visit

Ok so my counts are up and I am doing fine. Thank you again for praying and pulling me through. God is good and I want to take the time to thank everyone for my cards: Carol and all my comments that are so encouraging. We are making bracelets this weekend so more will be going out. I am happy and excited. I am hoping to have a great weekend. I have done good by myself this week.

Have a wonderful weekend. Last week before time to get chemo on Friday! Not looking forward but I am going to try to stay positive and get through it.

Love Cindy

Give Praise once again-Amen!!!!!

Comments

Many of you that do not blog (mostly my friends and family)have told me that did not know there was a place to read comments. This is the best blessing of all. Each post go to the bottom and click on inspiring words. You are missing out. Now that you know you can catch up. God is the creator of many beautiful people all over wanting to walk this journey with me. If you want to leave a comment and you do not want to sign up you can click on anonymous. It is easy. Love to all

Day 14 white count tomorrow

ok lets pray that my white count is better tomorrow.


I have been reading a lot and looking at different foods. During different times I am able to eat different things. When my counts are good I like to eat most of my diet raw. Lots of organic veggies. The more I can stick in the salad the better. When my counts are down I eat more pasta and cooked veggies. So chicken is the only thing I am eating with pasta.

Low sugar and low fat. I have read cancer loves sugar and fat cells. So I am always looking for recipes that are good and healthy for me. I do believe that eating healthy and drinking lots of water is giving my body some great energy.

I was hoping to get more into this but I am extremely tired and I have a little headache. So goodnight for now.

Thanks for my cards Carol and Susan!

Pray for a great day
Cindy

Day 13-Sweet Dreams

Today has been good. I did not do too much but I was alone with the girls and I did fine. I am starting to get a little anxious about my next treatment. So I am asking for you to pray for calm thoughts. My good week will be coming up and I want to enjoy it before chemo day. Thanks for helping and supporting me through.

I received the cutest PJ's today. As matter of fact I received two and they were from two different people from the opposite ends of the country. Florida and Oregon. I love them both. So Laurie and Emily you are very thoughtful and I thank you.

Tomorrow I want to talk about food. What I have learned and what I would like to learn. If one of your gifts are cooking or you know a lot about healthy food then I need you:) Low fat and low sugar is what I am looking for. So I look forward to tomorrow.

Lord thank you for your gift tonight. You sent it to me at the right time and I am thankful. Thank you for that you are giving me. Thank you for blessing me. You are in control. I love you.

Lee send me your address again-chemo brain and I don't know what I did with it. Your bracelet is ready.

Love Cindy
sweet dreams August

Day 12-Halfway done with treatment 2

Savannah, Madison and me having fun with some hats. Of course one of my wigs:) Thank you God for giving me days where I can not get enough of my girls. I am by myself this week and I am looking forward to feeling normal. It is hard but being at home and taking care of everything will never get old.


Thanks John and Monia for all your help! Cant wait until you come back.


Thanks for all my cards in the last few weeks:
Tom,Juanita,Pat,Yvonne,Nichole,Gail,Keri. The girls love them. We are making bracelets this week and weekend. So I will email everyone when they are on their way. Thanks Sharon and Nichole for getting them out. It is going to be fun and Alexa is ready.

I want everyone to praise God and thank Him for taking care of me. He is hearing everyone and I want to give Him the GLORY that He deserves! Love you all.

I feeling much better today.

I wanted to show you where I had my port put in. I still has the strips over it. It is healing fine but it hurts sometimes and feels so weird. You can see the port under my skin right under the bottom strip. I sure hope I dont have to have it for longer than a year. This will be one of my scars that will be a reminder of how much you all have walk this journey with me. Love you!




Praying for stronger days and looking forward to feeling good. Have a wonderful day.

Day 11 (day32) Awareness

I guess you are hearing a lot about breast cancer because it is October. Some may say yeah but I not even 40. I am not going to worry about it yet. Ok so then you think well it does not run in my family or I don't know anyone that does so I may not think about it but once a year. STOP! It is time to take charge. My story:
I am 38 years old. I have been married for 14 years and I have a daughter that is 12, one that is 9 and one that is 7. I nursed all the girls from either a year to almost 2 yrs each. I was done nursing and having children when I was almost 32. Never any problems. Not looking for anything. Happy with my life. Jan of 07 I went to my GYN for a normal visit. I told him that I felt a lump or something under my arm. He checked and gave me my exam and said that I was fine. I sat up and I said so you are sure that I don't need a base line mammogram? He said your fine. So I left and trusted. Throughout the year I would feel it. I ask a few other drs along the way. I was sick last spring and had to go the hospital and showed the dr. Oh it moves it is ok. So when I went back to the same dr this summer. I showed him again. He said lets go ahead and send you. So I had a mammogram and ultrasound. Came back with my results. Nothing on the mammogram but the lymph node is big. It is suppose to be 1cm and my is 2.4cm. So she said lets biopsy it. I came back had that done and waited. Waited a long week. The dreaded call. Mrs. Summers is it a good time to talk?? I thought no way? Yeah I can talk. Well I hate to give results over the phone but it is malignant. She talked for a long time. When I hung up I did not know how I was going to walk in the house and tell Mike. What about the girls? I waved my hand for Mike to follow me outside. I said I have it! I have cancer ,they just have to find it now. Next step was to have the MRI. Got my results right away. They saw a small 4mm nodule in my left breast only. So I went the next day to have it biopsied. The results were ready when I went to see the dr Aggressive stage 111. WOW really? Me? How? Because it already spread to multiple lymph nodes that is what it was staged. I was horrified. I was scared. I was out of control. The dr explained what he thought. Of course I heard a third. My mom, sister and Mike were with me. So now off to the oncologist same day. Went through lots of test. The dr there gave me the bottom line. You need chemo, surgery, radiation and reconstructive. In that order. Remember it does not run in my family nor at the time did I know anyone who had all of this. So all I can do is cry. Long day. Lots to think about. Lots to question.

Lesson learned...you are OK...I don't need a base line....your fine. No way never again. Go see someone else get a second opinion. You are in charge of your body. I did not know any better but now you do. Please take care of your body. Listen to it and know it! You do not need to be scared just be AWARE. Spread it around. I do not want another women to make the same mistake. Can you believe after all I have gone through so far that this dr has not called or checked on me once. Sad.

I am young and it does not run in my family history. Cancer does not wait until your 40 or 50. It is October learn and be aware every month.

Love you all
Cindy

Thanks for all my cards the last few weeks! Crystal thanks for the book. Sabrina thanks for the shirt. Dana thanks for checking on me.

Keep Praying

Day 10 Catch up

I am feeling ok today. I started running a fever yesterday but low enough that I did fine! Praise and sing:) I am very sore but that is my little reassurance that my white counts are working hard. I am ready to get up off this couch but my body is not ready so I will listen to it and rest.

Things to catch up on!

My girlfriend and neighbor signed me up and bought me a ticket for a breast cancer fundraiser here in Greenville. So Thursday night my MIL , Bree and myself went. It was a nice hotel here. They severed dinner (2nd time I have eaten out in 6 weeks or so) They also had tickets for sale for raffles. The baskets were incredible. I bought my and the other girls did and we dropped them in what would like to win. Of course they had a handful of survivors they recognized(Praise-want to be in their shoes soon) Then they called my name(Bree gave it to them) It was overwhelming to be the only one in the room full of 100's of people. They gave me a rose and top that I will post later. Then once I sat down they said that there was a house cleaning service that wanted to give something to a currently fighting patient. So they called my name and said that she was going to clean my home once a month for a year. I was so emotional that I could not get up! They came to me. It was so nice and thoughtful. So the rest of the night we played bunco(never played ever). I had a great time. My MIL won of the big baskets full of so much I will post that later too. When we got home she handed me the basket of fun and said I hope you enjoy it. It was a great night. I hope when you have time you jump over and look at reflector.com and you will see me on the 3 and 4th picture. So this mama went out on the town. Bree thank you for having me be a part. It was a lot of fun and I was glad you invited me. Thanks to the companies including Stokes Landscaping for donating tons of stuff ($11,000) Thanks to the Greenville Womens League for putting to together.


Tomorrow I want to catch everyone on me and the last couple of months. I want to talk about breast cancer and how important it is to be proactive. I love you all and want you to be healthy and aware.

I want to talk about Alexa's bracelets because I am starting to get emails so she is ready to get busy. It slowed down and she needs to keep busy. Thank you for wearing them. It is an amazing feeling.

Keep me lifting and I thank you. I am looking forward to seeing what is next for me. I am blown away that other than the icky taste and feel days done here and there. This has not stopped me. 3 toxic medicines -chemo in my body. I am hanging in there. Lord please continue to use me for your Glory.

Love Cindy
weak but hanging:)

Day 9 Thank you

Well today as you can see I was in the bed all day. My energy is way low and I am so tired. I worked on my blog and said goodbye to the Army colors and hello to a Sister in Pink:) Hope you like it and it is easy to read. I have so much to tell you but I do not have the energy to be long winded. So it will be a date very soon. To be continued...


But I wanted to say thank you for praying hard for me. I am blown away because I need my white count to come up so I prayed and I asked for my circle to lay their hands on me and I woke up this morning in terrible pain. I am talking all day pain. Why am I happy because my bones are working hard to bring my counts up I know it I feel it. I have not had any test and I am not a dr I just know. So ouch *praise*ouch*praise is what I am saying!!! Keep lifting me by next Friday I what jump with my girls on the trampoline and bounce this cancer out.

Sweet Dreams(hope for me too)
Cindy

Day 8-Results are not good

I am extremely tired and weak today. I was hoping to go on and on about last night. My white count is reading zero! I am have been told to be inside, no visitors, no raw veggies or fruit and no one sick, no other children. My body is very weak and I can get extremely sick. Please pray for me. I will catch up with you as soon as I am well. Check out reflector.com and go to scene around. Click on bunco for breast cancer. I am picture number 3 and 4. Check out my "crazy & sexy" wig! I cant wait to tell you the details.

God give me the strength to rise above this. God heal me and wake my bones up and start producing new white cells. Lord send my warriors to work. I need them. Lets make zero jump with glory.

Love
Cindy